Tuesday, March 30, 2010


The densest element in the known Universe has been found!



A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to science.  The new element has been named Pelosium.  Pelosium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311.
These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
The symbol of Pelosium is PU.
Pelosium's mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons within the Pelosium molecule, leading to the formation of isodopes.
This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientist to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration.  This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.
When catalyzed with money, Pelosium activates CNNadnausium, an element that radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons as Pelosium. 

h/t Danny P.


  1. Cute. As someone who has taken college chem and organic chem, this makes sense to me. ;-)

  2. Hi Opie:
    What doesn't make sense is Pelosi and her ilk are running the country. :(

  3. It's the densest thing on earth, and the most volatile, and did I mention toxic and dangerous. Pelousium should be sent to mars and buried there.

  4. Bunni:
    That's right and they should send Obamasium and Reidsium to Mars right along with Pelosium.


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